Learning to see My part in my anger

This is a much different post than I am used to posting on here. But it was a cool learning experience about self awareness, shame, and taking responsibility... even in the little day to day hurts/angers that I feel...  so I thought I would share.


My hubby and I were on a date to Kneaders. We were standing in line and it was taking an incredibly long time for the line to move. There were three women in front of us on what appeared to be a girls night out. We were in line for about 20 mins when I over heard them trying to remember a restaurants name. I had just driven by where she mentioned and I realized that I knew the name they couldn't remember.  I decided  to help them out  and tell them the name. So I did. One of the women looked at me as if I had an extra eyeball on my forehead or something. She rolled her eyes and said "no, that isn't the name" and turned back around  and  the others barely even acknowledged me.  It felt like a scene straight out of "Mean Girls". I was humiliated and for some reason it was worse b/c it was in front of my hubby. I didn't say anything for the 20 mins more that we remained in line and I  preteneded (probably not very well) that it didn't bother me.
     When we were picking out where we would sit  Michael motioned to sit at a booth close to these bitchy women. I refused and I picked a much more inconvenient place to sit. After a few minutes I couldn't hold it in any longer, I HAD to talk about it. That is what I do! I have to get things out before they fester and explode. So I said " did you SEE how RUDE those women were. Typical Utah bee-a-ches!" (It isn't really cussing if you  say it like that...tee hee!)
    I said "I was just trying to start up a conversation, but I forgot that I am not in the South and people here are rude and don't like strangers talking to them." He said "Well.. " and that is all he had to say before he got the look of death that said (or rather screamed) "Are you KIDDING? Are you really going to say it is MY fault that these women were so rude to me?" He then quickly backpedaled  and said "you are right, they could have been more friendly." ..............Too late I already feel ashamed,embarrassed and hurt.
    I couldn't wait to get home and call my friends to talk about these horrible women.

   When I tried to sleep I couldn't. I just kept seeing this woman rolling her eyes at me and feeling myself get hot and embarrassed all over again. Am I PMSing.. what is wrong with me for taking this so personal? Get Over it Already! I thought that if I could imagine getting back at her it would help me get over it... so ...
    I imagined myself getting revenge... embarrassing her in public. That didn't make me feel better.
    I imagined myself pulling her hair... Ok, that REALLY didn't make me feel better. ...What am I 2?...
    I imagined myself telling her that she really hurt my feelings and that she really needs to reconsider being so rude to others. That didn't work either.
     Finally I said a prayer... a little while after the prayer I imagined that I went up their table, (the one I avoided sitting next to and avoided as we were walking out). I imagined myself saying "I am so sorry that I butted into your conversation. I feel that I caused you to feel uncomfortable. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I just wanted to help out and start up a conversation. I apologize. Y'all have a great girls night out!" ahhh that is what it was. Taking responsibility to my part and trying to see it through her eyes.
     It feels good to let go of the ridiculous resentment that was taking up way too much space in my  heart, even if it was a little one.

Wyatt's Quirkiness

I just have to say how stinking cute this kid is! He is the best 3 year old I could ever hope for. I just got back from helping with a funeral and 3 of the older women there commented on how well behaved he is. I would say I take it for granted, but I don't. I feel like I am always telling him "thank you for being so good" at the store, or when I am getting chores done. If I could be promised another child as good as he is I would think about putting the adoption papers in.   I hope if he has some naughtiness to get out he isn't saving it for later;) Maybe all of this goodness is to make up for the fact that he still wakes up 2 times a night on a regular basis and then wakes up SUPER early.

Here are the funny quirks about Wyatt.

• He can turn ANYTHING into a Super Hero or Super Villan. At this very moment he has a straw in his hand that he has been talking to for the past hour.
• He says prayers in Iron man Voices. 
•  If I need to get things done all I have to do is give him a super hero coloring book and he will sit for 2 hours coloring and reinacting the book.
• I can't tell you how many times someone sitting behind us in church tells us how funny he is b/c they watch him reinacting his super hero stories with his hand motions. 
•  While we were at Thankgiviing point we fed the fish, Wyatt was doing his hand thing. So it isn't all about super hero when he does that, I am finding that it is his way of expressing excitement. 
•  The other day he had Carma's Tinkerbell phone and he was talking to his future wife, Miya . It was the cutest thing as he told her what he was doing and then argued with her...hahaha. "No Miay, I SAID..." 

He is just a joy to have around!! I love his little face and huge brown eyes and chin that look just like Paw-paw's. It is too cute. My heart is going to burst with love for this cute kid!

Carma's Smurfday Party

 

A Great party starts with a great invite:

Here is the one I made and if you would like to use it here is a pdf version. Just download it and open it in Photoshop to personalize it.:

Smurfday Party Invite

Feel free to use my files and have a great party, but Please do not redistribute or make money off of my work.

The Costume:
I searched for Smurf costumes online and most of the reviews were pretty negative due to the cheaply made and high costs... So I made my own. 
Dress: I bought 2 yards of white felt. I folded the felt in half and laid a sleeveless dress on top (with the top shoulder part on the fold) , cut it out and sewed the sides.  Took about 10 mins.

I crocheted the Smurf Hat by using this pattern:
Smurf Hat Crochet Pattern
I bought the tights and leotard from Amazon.  (make sure you have at least 2 weeks b/c these weren't Amazon Prime and took at least a week or so).

I hung up an "autographed picture" from Smurfette. 
Here is one for you if you are interested. She loved it and has it hung up in her room:
Autographed pictured 

January Family Activity

We went bowing as our January Family Activity. It has been years since we have been. The kids loved it and have been begging to go back.
Carma and Wyatt used bumpers, Judson is too cool and old for those kinds of things:) He wouldn't even do a granny bowl, as I suggested. "See I am still cool when I do this"...hahahaha 
As you can see from our scores, Bowling is not my thang. Even Wyatt killed me... he actually came in second. Beginners luck if you ask me...haha 
I was impressed that Carma and Wyatt could actually carry the 8 pound ball and place it on the stand. Call me impressed. I need to start making them do more around this house if they can carry a BOWLING BALL!

Wyatt did his "hand thing" (the same thing he does when he is reading a book)  while he watched the ball going down the lane. I will try to post a video.

Grandma Allen

Carma Hansen Allen March 27, 1927 ~ December 23, 2011

Allicia says it so much better than I can, so I am just going to paste what she wrote the day Grandma died:

" My Grandpa, Carling Allen has always been a romantic. He and Grandma could never be in the same room without wanting to have their arms around each other. They would dance and kiss in front of us all the time. They went through some of the hardest times a couple could face yet showed my family how an eternal couple should be. They were married 65 years ago today in the Manti LDS Temple. Typical Grandpa came this morning just after 9 AM to sweep his bride off her feet again and take her to the mansion he has been preparing for her since May 12, 2004. Grandma and Grandpa, I love you both so much! Happy Anniversary! I miss you both but am grateful for your example and that you are able to celebrate your 65th anniversary as it should be celebrated..together on a second honeymoon".

The first time I met Michael was at Grandma’s house for a Christmas party, and of course I met Grandma at this time as well.  I was amazed at how much love everyone had for one another. It wasn’t long until I discovered the root of the love was from Grandma and Grandpa. Through their example of the Savior and their testimony of His love they were able to teach their children, who taught their children and now I hope that I am teaching my children.

From the beginning I have felt that I am truly a part of this amazing family and always felt like Grandma and Grandpa are truly my grandparents. I can’t tell you how much this means to me as I was never super close to my grandparents.  I am so grateful to have felt this love from them and be a part of this family. 

As I heard and read so many sweet stories of Grandma I am glad I named my Carma after her. What an amazing legacy she has to live up to. I know she can do it, I have seen grandma’s sweetness in her already.

I invited Grandma to be there for my C-section the day Carma was born. I wanted her to be one of the first people to meet my Carma.

Grandma was a temple worker the day Michael and I were sealed in the Mt. Timpanogus temple. I remember her helping me in the brides room. She encouraged Michael to ask me out in the first place and was always "on my side" when Larry and Darlyn weren't so sure of what to think of me.  Thanks Grandma for having my back:)

I loved listening to Grandma tell stories of her mission at the Navoo visitor center.

A funny memory of Grandma is when Michael and I were helping her with her sprinkler system. I love cats and was excited to see that one hopped over the fence to her side of the yard.  I said in excitement “Oh a kitty!” and before I even finished the sentence Grandma was picking up a clod of dirt to throw at the cat. She chucked that dirt so hard that she could have been a pro baseball player. The dirt exploded against the fence and the cat jumped so high in fear.  I was in shock because the sweetest lady I have ever met hates cats so much and second at how good her arm and aim was. I laughed and laughed for hours after. I am still laughing.   I love you Grandma! I will cherish your memories and love always!!

Christmas Magic

I made this elf costume for Carma for her "Santa's helper" costume for School Spirit day. She loved it (that is how I bribed her to finally go to bed when she was so excited about the Christmas party).  Her teacher, Mrs. Warnick, loved it and said she looked too cute in it. I have to agree if I do say so myself, and I DO:) I made this page using Starlight Design kit from Shabbypicklesdesigns.com, Merry Christmas kit.

Christmas with my side of the Family

Since Dana and Jared were going to Louisiana for Christmas we decided to have our Christmas party the week before Christmas. They all came over here and we had dinner and exchanged gifts. Carma got a fun make up set and this picture of Dana and Nonnie cracks me up. You can see that she had fun trying on the bright pinks.
Judson was excited to get $10.00 from Nonnie and Jared. Wyatt had fun with his Spiderman toy that shoots webs.
I love my siblings and I am glad that most of us live close and glad that we stay in touch with each other.